Why having a baby won't fix your marriage

A couple arguing about their relationship

Could you be having problems with your spouse during the child-bearing stage?

Trying to save a doomed relationship by getting pregnant just doesn't work and becomes unfair to the baby instead.

It instead adds more work, stress, and crazy hormones to a relationship. And it won’t fix any unresolved conflict, it’ll only intensify it.

A woman's hormones create a sense of panic and the fear of losing her partner attention only increases.

She becomes overly controlling and concerned about his safety because she doesn't want to be left on her own to care for the baby which almost is a recipe for a break-up.

Don't try to force closeness by getting pregnant. Instead, take a break and re-evaluate the partnership.

You’ll have less alone time to talk and work things out.

Spending time with your partner generates closeness and more affection for each other.

When a baby arrives, couples experience a decrease in the amount of time spent together. The baby not only takes a lot of their time, but it is also always present.

By the time the mother and father do get to see each other alone, they are usually completely exhausted. If they are cranky from sleep deprivation, and sometimes they just don’t want to spend time together at all.

You’ll develop a perception that one of you is working harder than the other.

Having fights in a relationship will not solve any misunderstandings.

The amount of dedication and hard work parents put into taking care of a baby and paying the bills has to be evenly distributed.

If you were previously a two-income family, the financial strain of raising a baby on one income can be amplified.

If both develop perception on who should take care of the child, it will only lead to more problems and therefore this will cause a strain on your relationship with your partner.

Although the family finances are a joint responsibility, it is often the father who has to make tough decisions about financial priorities.

This can lead to stress and conflicts in the relationship, as well as depression in some fathers.

Interrupted-us time.

Men feel emotionally rejected by their partners after having a baby.

Babies don't really do the sleep thing. They're usually up every two hours if that long. And besides the first two or three weeks, they grow out of just waking to eat then sleep.

Men can feel extraordinarily betrayed if they are rejected both physically and emotionally by their partner.

So, you two have to decide that tonight will be the night that both of you will spend some quality time together. And it's best to see through an optimistic perspective.

Family members can put pressure on the relationship.

Some times relationships do not work out because of family involvement.

Not everyone loves their in-laws, but when a new member of the family makes an entrance, they and the other family members like aunts, uncles, and cousins can start making judgments about the way either of the parents cares for the newborn.

This can be a burden to the new parents with stress and facilitate arguments between them, especially if each family has different parenting values and priorities.

Jealous of the child.

Some fathers become jealous if not given attention.

Many times, the mother’s attention becomes solely focused on her child which leaves the father jealous which is one common thing that many don’t like to admit when the baby comes in.

Children need plenty of care, after all. However, this can result in one partner or the other just feeling that they’re being ignored or shut out of the relationship.

Less attention for the other.

Women who tend to focus more on their babies rather than their spouses have chances of ruining their relationship.

Couples with new babies are busy in that there will be feedings and diaper changes. The first few weeks of your baby's life will be one of the hardest experiences in your life.

Every time you see each other, one of you will be holding the baby doing your best to get them to stop crying, feeding them, or giving them the attention that babies require.

Try to find time to talk things over and be a couple again, even if it is just for a few minutes.

Disagreeing over parenting styles.

A married couple discusses on family issues.

There is nothing wrong with not agreeing with how the other parent, parents. It’s okay not to agree with their style. If what you are disagreeing about is harmless, it’s best to just drop it.

Coming up with an alternative solution to both of your reservations is always key. However, it’s better than if you two cannot reach common ground regarding your disapproval of your spouse’s parenting style, you should agree to disagree to prevent the arguing progressing to another level.